Teogonia and the First Firebender’s Fight for Bacon

Bacon. The 119th element. If you’ve got a problem, rub some bacon on it. And, since bacon is vital to humanity’s survival and Teogonia is another anime about monster meals, we can expect the world’s first spellcaster to go on a quest for piggy meat.

Let’s hope it tastes good.

Raids by pig ogres (heh, bacon!) and abominable monkey men keep the villagers of Lag (or Rag) fighting for survival. Kai (voiced by Mutsumi Tamura) trains hard and hopes to find a unique ability to change the tide of battle. Jose (voiced by Kana Hanazawa) also trains hard because she’s a guardian bearer, and there are expectations of how she’ll use her special powers. And then (wow!) Kai gets special powers. So, they train hard together. Wow! Amazing! (I can barely contain the excitement, but I’ll try).

Teogonia’s Hammy Plot and Ham-Fisted Storytelling

Whoosh! Teogonia seemed to have a few things going for it, but that whooshing sound shows how quickly those hopes vanished.

We can start by slicing off any discussion about Teogonia being an isekai (it is) or front-loaded with isekai tropes (also true). Teogonia flunked its aptitude test because Kai prattles to the audience like a lecturer explaining isekai tropes to dullards. Such blatant, ham-fisted exposition is disrespectful to isekai fans!

You won’t find any subtlety or clever reveals here. Kai thinks he’ll be great if he can find a unique ability, and he mansplains that in the show’s first minutes.

This clumsy storytelling crushes any hopes the hammy plot had of working. I’m down for a village struggling to survive against waves of demons. I’m all in for a powerless peasant becoming a peerless warrior. These hammy tropes are the over-baked things creators stuff into tabletop roleplaying games, and I love them! Teogonia throws its story in your face without any artistry or reason and (literally) loses the plot in a yucky mess of worthless over-explaining.

The Other 20 Percent

Teogonia has all the traits of a poorly made Naruto clone. Or a Last Airbender clone. The story is horribly slow-paced and dull, with mediocre animation. This is sad because I’m ready for a new story with a rebellious kid learning to master intriguing powers. Teogonia ain’t it.

Peter recently wrote about the 80/20 rule, which explains that for the 20 percent of great anime we love, the other 80 percent is trash anime. Too bad the inverse is also true. Twenty percent of anime is epically awful. Arm yourself against the worst of the worst with our anime reviews!

Flat Earth Theory Is Better Entertainment than Teogonia

Teogonia has fans online, but so does the flat Earth theory. Don’t trust them. Proponents of both can’t substantiate their fishy outlook. And if it smells fishy, it isn’t bacon.

Kunihiro Mori of studio Asahi Production (Gushing Over Magical Girls and Girls’ Frontline) directs Teogonia. Tomoyasu Okubo wrote the screenplay based on the light novel series from Tsukasa Tanimai (writer) and Kouichiro Kawano (illustrator).

Go ahead, prove me wrong, and watch Teogonia on Crunchyroll. I’ll take any and all arguments against Teogonia earning a Chibi Megumi rating of 1 or for flat Earth theory. Or save yourself the effort and join us. We’re hunting for great anime for people of culture like yourself. Come and enjoy the best anime with us.

Are you watching Teogonia? Did you leave disappointed, as I did, or did you find a reason to keep watching? Hit us up in the comments.

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