As aphorisms go, “all’s fair in love and war” possibly holds the richest BS. Even before the Geneva Convention, cheating at war wasn’t considered fair. Especially if your enemy’s cheating robbed you of victory. There were consequences. Just ask Odysseus to show you his Google Maps Timeline. Ten years bumbling about in a leaky boat is severe karma correction for sneaking out of a wooden uma, looting your enemy’s crib, and swiping their waifu. Harsh! And speaking of fair, check out these Chained Soldier cosplay commanders (and supreme commanders). They’re ready to raid your “enemy territory” and won’t fight fair.
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Infiltration. Or Diplomacy
If you enter enemy territory, are you an infiltrator or a diplomat? The correct answer is C: it depends. However, if you’re on a panty raid, then the answer is D: all of the above.
Panty raids might have been a ’50s trend in the US, but that doesn’t mean the fad is dead and gone. The rest of the world borrows American culture liberally, then puts a local spin on it. Look up Rodríguez, who was born in Detroit but found mega stardom in South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia. Like the Sugar Man, panty raids found a devoted following on the other side of the world, who gave lingerie larceny a new public face.
And I know, because of all the panty raids I’ve been involved in. (I’m not giving any numbers). But it’s enough that I’ve got all the authority of a social media influencer. So there!
Breaking In for Bras and Bravado
To really understand modern panty raiding, you’ve got to understand the dualism my initial question forces us to confront. Or, put plainly, every man who ever raided a woman’s dorm hoped his infiltration would lead to diplomatic infiltration. Hormones do weird things to your brains, boys. Stealing a girl’s underthings isn’t the best way to get into them.
While shitagi dorobō (underwear robber) is a common crime in Japan, it’s a stealthy activity that lacks true bravery. Why nick knickers when you can buy pantsu anonymously from J-List?
No, a real man stands boldly, shoulder to shoulder with his brothers, ski mask on and ready to crawl through air-conditioning vents. Victory (and a heap of Victoria’s Secrets) favors the bold and well-oiled.
The Line in the Sand Mud
The demons of the Mato wouldn’t stand a chance if panty raids were a Japanese phenomenon. The ladies would fight back. And their tactics would evolve to ensure panty security is maintained. They’d take no prisoners (even if you volunteered).
Of course, my tongue’s firmly in my cheek here, but don’t we all wish we could settle the battle of the sexes once and for all in a massive, full-scale mud wrestling contest? Or a briefs-and-bras capture-the-flag battle royal?
That’s the point, isn’t it? It’s not that all’s fair in love and war, but that our differences — between a man and a woman — feel like a battle. But it’s a battle that, in the case of love, is worth fighting for.
Chained Soldier Returns
We know a new Chained Soldier season is coming. Are you ready for more rewards for Yuuki? His rewards are our rewards. And we have more rewards too, since a new season means more coverage from our master of moving media, Joeschmo1of3. You can find his coverage of Chained Soldier Season 1 and Chained Soldier Season 2 by clicking the links.
Have you ever snuck through “enemy” territory? Have you swiped panties? Are you the Solid Snake of silk? Tell us in the comments.
Let’s Chat
You made it to the end of this post! Thank you! As a token of our appreciation, enjoy an extra 5% off your next order with code BLOG at checkout. Also, don’t forget to follow J-List on all our platforms!
- Twitter/X, where Peter posts anime booba for you.
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- Discord, if you want to chat with other J-List customers of culture.
J-List has more great news: a new 18% Onahole and Ero Lotion Sale! Through August 17, take an automatic 18% off all amazing ero toys for men. This includes all the new vibrating masturbators that have been taking fans by storm, awesome official hentai products by your favorite studios and artists, our stock of popular Japanese lube and lotion products, and more. Browse all sale products here!
