As aphorisms go, “all’s fair in love and war” possibly holds the richest BS. Even before the Geneva Convention, cheating at war wasn’t considered fair. Especially if your enemy’s cheating robbed you of victory. There were consequences. Just ask Odysseus to show you his Google Maps Timeline. Ten years bumbling about in a leaky boat is severe karma correction for sneaking out of a wooden uma, looting your enemy’s crib, and swiping their waifu. Harsh! And speaking of fair, check out these Chained Soldier cosplay commanders (and supreme commanders). They’re ready to raid your “enemy territory” and won’t fight fair.
Great news: J-List has started a new sale for you, this time giving you 18% off all DVDs, Blu-rays and Nintendo Switch games. That means an instant 18% off on all import anime Blu-rays, sexy live-action JAV titles, hentai anime and region-free anime games for your Nintendo Switch! Browse all sale products now!
Infiltration. Or Diplomacy
If you enter enemy territory, are you an infiltrator or a diplomat? The correct answer is C: it depends. However, if you’re on a panty raid, then the answer is D: all of the above.
Panty raids might have been a ’50s trend in the US, but that doesn’t mean the fad is dead and gone. The rest of the world borrows American culture liberally, then puts a local spin on it. Look up Rodríguez, who was born in Detroit but found mega stardom in South Africa, New Zealand, and Australia. Like the Sugar Man, panty raids found a devoted following on the other side of the world, who gave lingerie larceny a new public face.
And I know, because of all the panty raids I’ve been involved in. (I’m not giving any numbers). But it’s enough that I’ve got all the authority of a social media influencer. So there!
Breaking In for Bras and Bravado
To really understand modern panty raiding, you’ve got to understand the dualism my initial question forces us to confront. Or, put plainly, every man who ever raided a woman’s dorm hoped his infiltration would lead to diplomatic infiltration. Hormones do weird things to your brains, boys. Stealing a girl’s underthings isn’t the best way to get into them.
While shitagi dorobō (underwear robber) is a common crime in Japan, it’s a stealthy activity that lacks true bravery. Why nick knickers when you can buy pantsu anonymously from J-List?
No, a real man stands boldly, shoulder to shoulder with his brothers, ski mask on and ready to crawl through air-conditioning vents. Victory (and a heap of Victoria’s Secrets) favors the bold and well-oiled.
The Line in the Sand Mud
The demons of the Mato wouldn’t stand a chance if panty raids were a Japanese phenomenon. The ladies would fight back. And their tactics would evolve to ensure panty security is maintained. They’d take no prisoners (even if you volunteered).
Of course, my tongue’s firmly in my cheek here, but don’t we all wish we could settle the battle of the sexes once and for all in a massive, full-scale mud wrestling contest? Or a briefs-and-bras capture-the-flag battle royal?
That’s the point, isn’t it? It’s not that all’s fair in love and war, but that our differences — between a man and a woman — feel like a battle. But it’s a battle that, in the case of love, is worth fighting for.
Chained Soldier Returns
We know a new Chained Soldier season is coming. Are you ready for more rewards for Yuuki? His rewards are our rewards. And we have more rewards too, since a new season means more coverage from our master of moving media, Joeschmo1of3. You can find his coverage of Chained Soldier Season 1 and Chained Soldier Season 2 by clicking the links.
Have you ever snuck through “enemy” territory? Have you swiped panties? Are you the Solid Snake of silk? Tell us in the comments.
Let’s Chat
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Great news: J-List has started a new sale for you, this time giving you 18% off all DVDs, Blu-rays and Nintendo Switch games. That means an instant 18% off on all import anime Blu-rays, sexy live-action JAV titles, hentai anime and region-free anime games for your Nintendo Switch! Browse all sale products now!
