“Eternal Questions” in Japan

Japan is a great country, and I like living here a lot. But no matter how long I stay here, it seems there’ll always be some “eternal questions” that we foreigners will never figure out. Like, why is every mannequin in department stores a gaijin, and why does no one ever notice the total lack of mannequins with Asian features? Why would anyone need house-style curtains for your car? How can the Japanese have such a high standard of living that heated toilet seats wash your butt while talking to you in soothing tones, yet almost no one has central heating? How can the Japanese write irony-free haiku about the “vibrant nature” all around them when 97% of their rivers are dammed? The other day I was going for some sushi with my daughter when she turned to me and asked, “Why are the green traffic lights called ‘blue’?” It’s a big source of confusion to foreigners here, why green traffic lights are referred to with the word ao (ah-oh) meaning “blue” instead of midori meaning “green.” (I know there’s an answer, that the Japanese word ao has historically referred to both blue and green, but it’s kind of fun keeping the question unanswered and mysterious.)

Just what the hell is this traffic signal supposed to mean, anyway?