With the upcoming Priestess Bikini Armor figure, I’ve gained a solution to one of life’s most vexing problems. Picture this: I waltz into my kitchen to prepare a cough syrup and cheese pairing, but goblins “goblinated the cheese.” The pain I feel whenever that happens is something I’d never wish on any other soul. I’ve tried to stop this for many moons, but failure courts me at every turn. With this sexy little figure from KLOCKWORX, I will put an end to my worries over goblins and their grubby little fingers.
The KLOCKWORX Priestess Bikini Armor Figure — Priestess Has a Kawaii Tush!
If you’re thinking, “Hold up, my cheese has never been goblinated — why do I need a $230 Priestess Figure?” then stop living in denial. Our capacity to block out trauma borders on the unbelievable. Goblins have goblinated your cheese; you’re suppressing the memory. The best way to come to terms with this is to preorder this figure. Your investment today means that come November, you’ll be goblin-free! This figure guarantees to keep your home goblin-safe.
Based on a scene from Goblin Slayer II, this figure will give you lewd thoughts about the anime’s most wholesome character. There are certain things that life never prepares you for, and Priestess’s ass is one of them. Seeing Priestess’ back end look so inviting was the equivalent of getting a message from the quiet kid telling you not to go to class tomorrow — it’s sensory overload.
This figure might only be 8.3″ (21 cm), but its appeal is monolithic. Hamano Ayumu channeled the hand of God when he sculpted this figure. The detail of the armor on the Priestess Bikini Armor Figure is applause-worthy. The armor’s thickness, lines, joints, and creases mimic metal so well that they make it hard to believe it’s crafted from PVC. Despite this, there’s a touch of movement to the figure. Priestess’s rumpled hair, fluttering skirt, and bow give the impression that she ducked right as you looked at her. Her bashful expression complements her pose beautifully, and her small chest is divine!
The Priestess Bikini Armor Figure Color Production Is Insane!
Color production is difficult. Perfectly matching the hues, tones, and shades of something takes a lot of effort. Usually, when describing a figure, I give a small shout-out to color producers. But the Priestess Bikini Armor Figure is so next-level that I had to dedicate an entire subsection to praise Mogu Labo for their work on this. The artist handled the gradient on the Priestess’s hair so gently and contrasted it so well against her blue bow.
Certain parts of her skin show a faint reflection from her armor, and the armor could receive paragraphs of praise from me. When I saw this armor’s sheen, glint, and highlights, I instantly thought of Deishuu Kaiki’s talk on imitations — “In its deliberate attempt to be real, it’s more real than the real thing.” That’s the best praise I can give a figure, so you should preorder one to see why I’m so impressed.
Goblin Slayer Deets
Goblin Slayer is a story … a story about an adventurer … an adventurer named Goblin Slayer … and he slays goblins. The anime follows the titular character, Goblin Slayer, a man who lost his family and village to a goblin attack. Fueled by PTSD and hell-bent on making sure no one else suffers his pain, Goblin Slayer dedicated his life to killing the wretched low-level vermin that other adventurers often avoided. Despite his unusual quarry, his relentless pursuit quickly established him as one of his town’s best adventurers.
Kumo Kagyu wrote the Goblin Slayer light novel (illustrated by Noboru Kannatsuki). The franchise now boasts multiple light novels, manga, two TV-anime, a movie, a tabletop game, three audio dramas, and the Priestess Bikini Armor Figure.
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