Since J-List has sold so many amazing Japanese onaholes over the years, we’ve naturally seen our share of really strange ones, as you can probably imagine. I thought it’d be fun to write a post looking at the most WTF onaholes Japan has ever made.
But first, a review of the wacky new Anal Pic Tuc, a hilarious Pop Team Epic anal toy that allows anyone — guy or girl — to have some fun with yourself or that special someone, using this middle finger to stimulate a dark place.
The Anal Pic Tuc is basically a full-sized, well-crafted hand with a raised middle finger, which can be displayed as an ironic objet d’art if you like, or used inside the anus, stimulating the prostate gland (for guys) or generally stimulating and enlarging the anus, perhaps before anal sex (for girls).
The finger can be set into a different position if you want to explore things from different angles. The Anal Pic Tuc is quite an interesting idea, and worth of buying as a collector’s item, if you’re into that kind of thing. Pick up one here!
The Most WTF Onaholes J-List Has Ever Seen
As promised, here are some of the strangest onaholes we’ve seen in the history of J-List. Most of them are long-gone, having disappeared from the marketplace long ago. Presumably, when you buy a random “onahole gacha” set you might find some interesting forgotten onaholes inside your box as rare items.
The popularity of Your Name / Kimi no Na Wa ensured that Japan’s creative onahole companies couldn’t ignore it. Tamatoys brought out a parody toy called Your Hole, but the more interesting one was the “bukakke” lotion that just happened to look like rice a Shinto shrine maiden had just spat out. Very clever!
If you’ve ever seen bondage-related art of Kimi no Na Wa and wondered what the joke was, it’s that nawa is Japanese for “rope.” This was a rope to tie your onaholes up with.
Then there was the time Mate Goods Company made a “cave exploration” themed onahole which was a pretty solid concept, I thought. But since it came out right after the Made in Abyss, I realized that this was supposed to be an onahole based on the human form of…a certain character I don’t want to reveal because of spoilers. But if you’ve seen the show, you’ll probably be able to guess who.
This is one of the few onaholes to remain available. At least the picture is on the box for the random onahole gacha from the company, so it’s possible you’ll get one if you order this item.
An ear onahole? What were they thinking? The title is actually a rather good pun, based on Studio Ghibli’s Mimi o Sumaseba, aka Whisper of the Heart. This Japanese title means “if you listen closely,” but this toy’s title is “If you finish in the ear.”
I’ve been known to appreciate some good foot fetish from time to time, but a foot onahole that lets you actually fuck the foot? That’s new.
Japan has “military otakus” who love to surround themselves with fake weapons including airsoft guns. The Pineapple Grenade Onahole gives a new meaning to the phrase, “Fire in the hole.”
Everyone loves videogames, right? And anime series about lesbian video game developers? So why not make a handheld game you can fuck? Notice how the internals of the toys is sort of pixelated, like 8-bit graphics.
A futanari onahole? Why the hell not? This was actually one of the top sellers on J-List, and we sold a ton of them over a couple of years, before the toy was finally taken out of production.
Apparently whoever thinks up onahole ideas gets paid per product brought to market, not based on how good the ideas themselves are. The My Private Nakadashi Flesh Toilet, which we dubbed the worst onahole ever, was literally a toilet. The joke is that calling a woman a niku benki (flesh toilet) or koushu benjo (public restroom) is an unkind way to imply that a woman is a slut.
All J-List adult orders are shipped in a discrete and careful manner, with no indication of any adult contents. Also, we have a new, higher level of privacy for you too: an Anonymous Shipping Service (A.S.S.) in which your order will be carefully repacked in generic packaging, with the outer box removed.