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You’ve Been In Japan Too Long When…

Peter Payne by Peter Payne
13 years ago
in Your Friend in Japan

Back in the early days of the web and Usenet, foreigners living in Japan started a list called “You’ve been in Japan too long when…” about what can happen to foreign expats who deign to stay here for many years. Here are a few for you. (The full listing is here.)You’ve been in Japan too long…

  • when you return the bow from the cash machine.
  • when you are only slightly puzzled by the concept of Vermont Curry.
  • when you buy a strawberry-and-whipped-cream sandwich for lunch at 7-11.
  • if your favorite dessert is Coffee Jelly.
  • when you pronounce the ‘e’ in ‘aloe’ and think aloe flavored yogurt could catch on back home.
  • if you have mastered that squeezing a lemon slice with the chopsticks thing so that you don’t get lemon juice on your fingers.
  • when you know what an ‘American dog’ is (it’s what a ‘corn dog’ is called here).
  • if your weight, shoe size, and height in the Imperial measuring system (if you’re American) have ceased to be relevant for you.
  • if you have mastered the art of starting your car without getting in it yet (possible since the key is accessible from the right side of the car).
  • if you politely turn off your headlights while at a stop light to avoid blinding the driver across the intersection from you.
  • if you think cod roe spaghetti with chilled red wine is a typical Italian dish.
  • if you can’t find the “open” and “close” buttons in the elevator because they’re in English
  • when you can’t read your kids the Three Little Pigs without giggling when you get to the part about “Not by the hair of chinny chin chin” (chin chin is a cute word for a penis in Japanese).

  • Did you think I was kidding about the strawberry and whipped cream sandwiches?
Tags: gaijinJapankids

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