People should have long relegated the saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger,” to history. What doesn’t kill you oftentimes leaves a lot of trauma or injury, and those lessen the quality of life. And if you live outside of Europe and a few Asian and Latin countries, the care associated can be as mountainous as the boobs on the Beheneko elf. Merely thinking of getting that healing causes your bank account to sputter. That’s where the FIGMON Elf Nurse Bennett figure (1/4 scale) makes everything okay.
The FIGMON Elf Nurse Bennett Figure — Hide Your Shotas
Some people dislike or are outright afraid of visiting hospitals. Physicians have long been trying to find ways to remedy this. Now, I make no claims to my intelligence, but I get the feeling if a busty, tanned nurse were there to service you, men would flock to seek healthcare. After all, what’s better than Denali-sized oppai to heal what ails you?
This figure is based on an original character by famed doujin artist Re:Shimashima. The Elf Nurse Bennett figure is an ode to sexy nurses and a love note to dark elves, and we at J-List know that our followers really like those.
Bennett sports an ultra-sexy, skin-baring, glossy nurse outfit with thigh-high boots and a nurse cap. The figure’s pose captures Bennett as she’s kneeling over you. Her expression and open mouth give her the feel of a lion that’s about to devour her prey. And let me tell you why that’s a fantastic thing! Should you share my thoughts, at some point, you read a shota doujin and thought to yourself, “That should have been me!” I, too, want a mommy elf to pound me into oblivion. Alas, now that I’m nearing the grave, that dream is far beyond me. But, with the Elf Nurse Bennett figure and my overactive imagination, I can at least delude myself into thinking I’m living the dream.
LOOK AT THEM TITS!!!
One memory stays with me always. The first time I saw Slayer, a girl flashed the band, and the dude next, in the lowest to highest pitch imaginable, screamed, “Look at them tits!” That sheer excitement and delight is what you will feel when you look at Bennett’s chest. We need to build cars using the same material as her bra. Its strength could significantly reduce post-accident mortality if it can support those impressive assets. Because to quote that one dude in a JFAC shirt at the 2009 Mayhem Festival in Tinley Park, “LOOK AT THEM TITS!!!”
Tits aside, and that’s a monumental task with this figure, you should admire Bennett’s beauty. Her deep plum-colored eyes and radiant white hair are neck-turners. And her bum looks so plump that you could use it as a trampoline (I bet you can’t use this as a pickup line). This 1/4 scale figure kneels at 8.3″ (21 cm). Expect it to ship in September this year, and preorder it here for $105.
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