You’re a person of culture. You know things, things the general masses don’t. You’ve already perceived (or were about to) the lewding potential of a new hit Super Mario Galaxy movie. And you know that, lewd or wholesome, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie will inspire kingdoms of cosplays that’ll have you shouting “Wahoo.”
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The Super Mario Galaxy Movie Hits High Score
Illumination and Nintendo’s latest movie offering, The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, grossed over $372.5 million (USD) in its debut week. That makes it the highest-grossing animated movie of the year.
What cosplay creations will the movie inspire? Something for the whole family, I’m sure. (Raises eyebrows knowingly at the internet). Today’s offerings are inspired by the years of gaming memories so many of us share of Mario, Luigi, and their friends. Enjoy!
Super Mario Crossplay Kicks Off Thermonuclear Reactions
Why are crossplays so hot? Because a woman playing a dude will dial her allure up all the way. You’ll have no doubts she’s a hot female. Also, the disjunction will jar your brain, leaving you wanting more. That’s elementary thermos dynamics. Who says rocket science is hard?
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the consummate skill most professional cosplayers apply to their art. Perfect lighting for the right shadows and shine, flawless makeup, and nuclear curves combine to form irresistible fission. Our hormone-flooded brains don’t stand a chance! That’s why most men stay home. No tricksy woman will get a man if he’s safely locked away, behind his computer…
We’re not sure which depths Hannah Brooks (bottom) is ready to plumb, but depths shall be plumbed.
Peachy Princesses and Toad’s Toes
And yes, I know there are loads of hot Super Mario Galaxy princess cosplays out there; we’ve already covered many of Mario’s favorite princesses. And Princess King Boo. Besides, red and blue are this season’s colors of choice. Or green and blue. Slap a letter on your hat, and you’re good to go.
Unless you’d like some girl Toad toes or more Bowsette? Can there ever be too much Bowsette?
Welcome to the Golden Age of Game-Related Movies
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie continues the impressive trend of highly popular movies linked to gaming franchises. Do you see the pattern? Sonic, Minecraft, Super Mario, and Pokémon are all lucrative franchises, with wide fanbases between the ages of 3 and 39 (ish).
Older fans, their left eye twitching, will remember movie adaptations from franchises like Doom (2005), Double Dragon (1994), Super Mario Bros. (1993), and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009). And I’ve skipped all the movies based on horror games! Game adaptations were doomed to fail, we all thought.
Of these, only Super Mario Bros. was based on a game with a family vibe. Your baby sister and your aged grandma could all sit through a game of Mario without complaining about the violence. Have you seen the trailer? It told a very different story.
These days, movies for kids take a fluffier approach to violence, which appeals to the moms and dads who first loved the game. They get to enjoy the nostalgia and keep the kids busy for two hours. Everyone wins. And people of culture who enjoy the cosplay big-budget movies inspire bag the biggest win.
Who’s your favorite Mario character? I’m a Yoshi fan because nobody lets me get away with calling him a cutesy Ninja Turtle. How about you? That is a speed run test. Type your answer now!
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Great news! J-List has started a huge new sale on all ero toys, including onaholes, lotion, and fun ero products that help us guys relax at the end of the day. Browse our new sale products here!
