Episode 23 — “Kisses, Openings, and Things to Think About”
Bathos Melodrama Meter
Can you believe how much melodrama Goddess Café Terrace can pack into a kissing scene? Riho made Hayato put on a school uniform, follow her around town, and order his junior justice officer to probe her for openings. For a first kiss! The plot even jammed a miraculous cancer cure into the emotional soup. We should expect that kind of heightened tension from this anime now. But we did learn something about Hayato: he wanted to kiss Riho. Why else would he accommodate all the things she asked him to do?
Okay, sure. It was the day after Christmas, and there wasn’t much going on. But boredom and having idle time can’t fully explain Hayato’s motivation. Part of it could come from a sense of fairness because Shiragiku and Akane already kissed him. Or should we chalk some of his motives up to the wishy-washy nature of a harem king to avoid making up his mind as long as possible? Goddess Café Terrace often plays with those harem dynamics to put a fun Tornado Spin on romance as the girls compete for his swollen, wild sushi roll.
Protecting the Goddess Café Terrace Nest Points
Ouka scored the most points because she hid Ami’s innocent eyes from Akane’s invasive tongue maneuver on Hayato’s face hole. Very unsanitary. Good girls should avoid that behavior, Ami, until you graduate from high school!
Grandma’s Little Girl Points
Shiragiku won a massive amount from Hayato because she remembered his childhood favorite New Year’s Eve food. Akane and Riho saw how sneaky Shiragiku was for keeping that a secret until she capitalized on the moment.
Baka Charm Points
Ami better watch out. Hayato might start enjoying how she violently treats his morning wood. Ointment won’t work on his “rock-hard-peeking-peepee sickness.” That condition requires other methods to reduce the swelling. Ami should consult Akane about invasive tongue maneuvers and face holes.
Goddess Café Terrace Drunken Charm Points
Riho dealt the most damage to Hayato’s heart after he figured out her fetish. She likes the rush of submission as she gives up her control of her body parts. Riho is a submissive! How will that play out in a group session with Ouka’s dominatrix tendencies?
Cool Charm Points
Akane exuded confidence as she locked lips aggressively with Hayato in front of a crowd of excited women. She publicly marked her territory, too! Is Akane an exhibitionist? We already know she likes making Hayato squirm by being seductively forward. But now the other girls also know that.
Goddess Café Terrace Makes Me Go Heh.
The mock trial farce continues! Yes, Valentina, four kisses from the other girls amount to a death penalty sentence for Hayato. How will the harem king survive? Logic has escaped these girls’ brains. Family members don’t kiss like that! Ami thinks they’re talking about the Japanese whiting fish (鱚, きす, kisu). It makes a tasty fried battered dish! Akane-chan, let’s go! Hekiru hates this idea. But will Goddess Café Terrace follow the “losing heroine” rule for whoever climbs the harem ladder rungs first? Block Ami’s delicate eyes! Hahaha! Hekiru made a Macross joke! Deculture! I don’t see a Zentradi going insane from watching a kiss in this room. Ohoho. Mao wants in on that tongue action! Ami wants some kisu sashimi. That wasabi makes for a spicy kiss!
Tsundere Shojo Manga Romance
One kiss down. Who’s next? Hayato would like to get all this kissing business over with. What the… Riho wants to set the mood with a kabedon (wall slam) scenario at Ami’s school! Complete with uniforms. Will Riho’s future bedroom activities include costumes and roleplaying? Riho borrowed Ami’s school uniform, but where did Hayato get a male version? Goddess Café Terrace offers no clues. Riho works fast. She even called the paparazzi to capture the viral moment!
Location change. The shrine is no good because the gods might object. Okay… How about a starry night looking at the beach? Too cold! Aha. Hayato realized Riho likes an assertive man to push her down! Ack. Riho’s tsundere streak messed that up. But how can Hayato kiss her when she’s least expecting it… when she expects it! Ganbare, Hayato-kun. Akane is still one kiss ahead of Riho in Goddess Café Terrace.
Uh oh. Riho’s Bizarre Kissing Adventure continues into the next day. Hayato has an ally of justice who can create an opening for an unexpected kiss. Ami can’t break through Riho’s defenses! She’s a hundred years too early to defeat a master! Goddess Café Terrace continues using blown-out brightness levels for its steamy censorship. Oh, good. The will-to-live cures terminal cancer just as well as time-traveling dream magic cures dementia. Defenseless! How do you like that chin-in-hand kiss, Riho? Akane’s grandmother was right about that playboy. Hah! Ami found her opening!
Goddess Café Terrace and One-Eyed Swollen Wild Sushi Roll
It only took nine months, but Hayato finally had an erotic dream about his roommates. That’s the wrong kind of furry pussy… cat I want to see covering that smooth skin, though. Mao would have jumped right into that mass of tangled limbs and flesh. Boo! Goddess Café Terrace sushi roll-blocked us! Time for the traditional end-of-year cleaning, although it’s too distracting for Hayato. At last, he became a horny male. He awakened his lucky sukebe power!
Here comes Goddess Café Terrace serving up another sexy dream. When will Ouka and Ami join the naked safari to tame his wild sushi roll? Oh no. Ami walked in on something more threatening than a caterpillar on Hayato’s crotch. Ami does not know about erections! No bug bite turns a peeking peepee that swollen! The kissing crew wants a peek at that rock-hard-peeking-peepee! They know how to make the swelling go down! Get out. Hayato can handle this himself. Wait, that’s not right!
Full Table and Full Heart at Goddess Café Terrace Year’s End
Meanwhile, Moemi runs an efficient assembly line to move New Year’s Eve dinners out of the kitchen at the Chiyoda Diner. What does Valentina even do for them besides popping the chef’s hat off Moemi? Hekiru suffers from FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and needs to see more deculture. Yup. Shiragiku pulled ahead in the harem horse race by tugging on Hayato’s nostalgic memories with Grandma Sachiko. Not fair! Shiragiku should have shared that info with her rivals! They all play to win. Ouka got them back on track. It’s a family dinner, and Hayato couldn’t feel more fulfilled. You know what happens in Goddess Café Terrace as soon as everyone is happy, right?
Epilogue time. Ouka designed the girls’ kimonos for the New Year’s Day shrine visit. But Ouka shows hesitation and detachment about being a fashion designer. And ambiguously wishes prosperity for the “five” workers of the Familia Café Terrace. Foreshadowing!
Next time, Ouka packs her bags and leaves the Familia! Maybe. And what does Truck-kun have in store for Ami? Who knows what melodramatic tricks Goddess Café Terrace will play in the season finale.
Goddess Café Terrace (The Café Terrace and Its Goddesses, Megami no Café Terrace) streams on Crunchyroll in Japanese audio and multiple language subtitles.
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Do you know what I liked most about all the wild sushi roll jokes? Not one eryngii mushroom reference. That belongs to the Chiyoda Diner girls, not the Familia females. Hopefully, Ami finds the right “ointment” to rub on Hayato’s bursting, peeking peepee. But who gets to do it? Let us know who you prefer in the comments below!
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