Episode 19 — “I’m Not Letting You Sleep Tonight”
Bathos Meter Goose Egg in Goddess Café Terrace
No bathos this week! Goddess Café Terrace has all comedy. Please enjoy how Kouji Seo uses his narrative formula of setup, delivery, and punchline to make absurdist humor instead of melodrama. The bathos formula goes
pathos + pathos + pre-catharsis = anticlimax.
Similarly, the comedy formula goes
bizarre circumstances + gag reactions = absurd resolution.
The whole episode was comedy gold!
Protecting the Nest Points
Ouka won the most points by guarding Hayato from Riho and Akane’s lustful undercover futon activities. Thirsty THOTs, begone! Ouka’s reward? Sore hips and an eyeful of Hayato’s “caterpillar.” She was also the most protective of the “family jewels.” You know what I mean!
Goddess Café Terrace Grandma’s Little Girl Points
Nobody scored substantive points here, but Valentina won symbolic points for greeting Hayato at his door. I only wanted to see her tan boobs again.
Baka Charm Points
Can I say everyone scored all the points for freaking out about Hayato’s “spigot” and holding King Trumpet mushrooms? It was the best dildo commercial I’ve seen in a while.
Drunk Girl Points
Shiragiku has honestly earned her reputation in Goddess Café Terrace. Waking someone up in the middle of the night to confirm individual breast preferences qualifies as excellent drunk talk. She thinks her right boob has a better shape. How? Oppai roulette determines that issue.
Cool Charm Points
Nobody acted cool in Hayato’s presence while he was awake enough to register an impression, so everyone scored a goose egg. But! Ami gave him the Iron Claw to wake him up, and I thought that was cool! I’m sure the move did not endear her more to him. Not an elegant wake-up call!
Goddess Café Terrace Makes Me Go Heh.
Ami gave Hayato an “elegant” squeeze but opts to sleep at home instead of joining the late-night harem hijinks. How did Ouka win the hot spot next to Hayato’s futon? Winning rock-paper-scissors! Oh, Akane. Letting your sweetheart see you wearing a Breathe-Right nasal strip is not the best look. But it’s better than Hayato hearing you snore!
Goddess Café Terrace Breaks the Fourth Wall…Three Times!
Ha! Akane took off her nose strip before waking up Hayato. Way to go, Goddess Café Terrace. Innuendo about pent-up urges! Bladder control vs. a breaking dam of horniness. Hahaha! Akane will pee on your head if you don’t walk her to the toilet! Oof. How many times will Hayato step on Ouka? I bet three. Oops. Scaredy-cat Akane sees an opening after she shows Hayato an opening! Whoa! Hayato created his own opening in the inn’s wall. How many holes will he make during the night? I bet three! That ruined the mood. Better luck next time, Akane.
Next up in Goddess Café Terrace, Shiragiku. Is she still drunk? Second time for Ouka’s stomping. Yes. Shiragiku is still drunk! Which boob does Hayato prefer? The right or the left? Both. “Both” is an acceptable answer! That’s not good enough for Shiragiku, though. Boob roulette will force a choice on Hayato. Ack. Another hole in the wall! One more to go.
Riho ignores Hayato’s warning sign. What else is new? She wants her turn! She saw Hayato with Akane and Shiragiku! Oof × 3! RIP Ouka’s hips. So, how will Riho blast Hayato through the hotel wall? Hahaha! Hayato got it over through the rule of Manzai comedy. Hit the same joke three times! Again, poor Ouka.
Goddess Café Terrace Uncloaking Poking Joking
Hohoho. Ouka wakes up with a sore pelvis. Getting railed all night will do that. Or Hayato stepping on you. It was the latter. Sure, Riho, “the futons were really thin.” All that stepping, but Ouka never woke up. Instead, she dreamed Ami kept drop-kicking her. Close enough! They couldn’t withstand hours of the mating press! Ahem. Hee-hee. Hayato moved his head to the other side of the room so no one could wake him up anymore.
Uh oh, Goddess Café Terrace. Hayato skipped too many leg days. His trouser snake peeked out of his loose-fitting boxer briefs! Insulting. Ouka passed out because she thought the elephant in the room was a caterpillar. What happened to his “full sushi roll?” No morning wood for Hayato, apparently. Ahahaha! The girls seriously consider tucking him back in! Who’s brave enough to sort the twig and berries? Hahaha! Akane called Riho a slut to her face. Wait a minute. How would CHILDHOOD ACTOR Riho have seen a comedian’s sushi roll on a variety show? Was she on the Japanese network version of Nickelodeon? Oh, Mao would know what’s “big.” These girls are ruthless. Oh, come on. The “spigot” becomes cute because it belongs to the guy they like. Oh, boy.
Making One-Eyed Contact with a Trouser Snake
Shifty. Hayato exposed his will and testament! How would you feel if innocent young women compared your scrotum to fried tofu? Stay asleep, Hayato! There it is, Goddess Café Terrace. Shiragiku needs a sniff! Perfect setup. Ouka had protected Kasukabe jewels, so she received them as a prize! No. That’s clearly wrong. Getting an eyeful of a trouser snake should turn Ouka to stone, not blind her. Finally, Ami arrived to save Hayato’s bacon. What’s her punchline? No big deal! Ami knows about one-eyed monsters peeking from her older brothers. She also has a surefire method for waking sleepy boys: Iron Claw! Fried tofu doesn’t stretch like that, ladies. Hahaha! Hayato can’t lie to himself about pleasant vacation memories.
Girl Talk Mushrooms into Goddess Café Terrace Calamity
This is a fun reunion. Valentina and Ami spar again. The Familia and Chiyoda Diner girls need all the deets about Hayato’s sushi roll. Mao expected an orgy! Well. We know from a past Goddess Café Terrace episode that her jam is group sex. Har. Ami let it out of the bag about Hayato letting himself out of his bag. Ball deployment! Hahaha! Shiragiku is still so salty that Ouka wouldn’t let her smell it! Mao is thirsty and ready for anything! She uses eryngii mushrooms for reference, as all good horny anime girls do. Uh oh. Ami told the harem that she got far ahead of them now. She slept with Hayato and let him elegantly squeeze her in the mixed bath.
Ohoho and aw. Valentina inadvertently warns Hayato about the henpecking he’s in store for. Of course. Of course! How often will Hayato walk in on undressing goddesses in Goddess Café Terrace? Spilled tea, this time. They’re so angry they don’t even have time to feel shame as they accuse him of lecherous lewdness with Ami!
Next time, the Christmas arc (and all that implies) begins. And Hayato meets Akane’s grandmother, so Goddess Café Terrace restarts the bathos.
Goddess Café Terrace (The Café Terrace and its Goddesses, Megami no Café Terrace) streams on Crunchyroll in Japanese audio and multiple language subtitles.
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Did you enjoy the pure comedy at Hayato’s expense? That boy needs to buy tighter underwear to keep the boys together. But his harem experienced a married life preview. The girls will need to do their homework to catch up to Ami. Who do you bet will be next to work a magic show cup and balls routine with Hayato? Let us know in the comments below.
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