We’ve survived through 120 days of lockdown here, so I’ll take whatever adventures I can get. Luckily, J-List has some interesting items in stock that are an adventure all on their own. Hey, maybe I can even convince you to buy something. That’s sure to please the boss, Your Friend in Japan, and that can only mean a promotion.
Super Online Shopping Marketing Ploy for Promotion, GO!
Shimapan
I have no idea why people buy shimapan (striped panties). Honest! No idea. I do, however, have a bunch of ideas why I’d buy shimapan.
Shimapan Use Number 1: Re-Enact that Scene from Black Adder
You know the one, I’m sure. Hey, if I can’t get a promotion on the grounds of excellent marketing skills, maybe I can plead insanity and apply for a social grant. That’s sure to work.
Shimapan Use Number 2: Otaku Flavored Emergency Facemask
If you’re going to craft a facemask out of ladies’ underwear — like the super otaku cosplay crafting catastrophe survivor you are — then you definitely want these on your face. I wonder, if you add the scent of a real woman to it, do you unlock some hidden level of ecchiness? Only one way to find out.
Green Plastic Animals
What are these Desktop Choujugiga Green Army things anyway? They’re like little green army men, right? I wonder if they’d be cooler with guns and bazookas? But, you know, if I ever want to play out the siege of The Wind in the Willows I’m grabbing these.
Fried Chicken Bath Fizz
Let me just run that by you one more time:
Fried. Chicken. Bath. Fizz.
How awesome is that?
That’s rhetorical, of course. It’s amazing we’ve lived this long without this as a thing. Now you can live out Colonel Sanders’ most outlandish fetishes and get clean at the same time. That’s ‘win-win.’
Good luck not feeling like the victim in a Texas slasher movie though.
It’s worth mentioning just how big the Colonel is in Japan. Not only does he have his own dating sim, but he was even reincarnated by a dedicated cosplayer. If you’re here on J-List then I don’t need to tell you that the Japanese know what’s good for you, so go get your fried chicken bath fizz on!
Now’s also a good time to mention that we have a whole category entitled ‘Wacky & Other.’ Considering that fried chicken bath fizz is the only thing from that category on this already weird list, I think we’re doing pretty well with our little online shopping adventure so far.
Looking for a Japanese Girlfriend Hachimaki
The real adventure with a Looking for a Japanese Girlfriend Hachimaki is walking around Akihabara with one of these on your gaijin face. Since travel isn’t happening much right now, get your suitably bedecked noggin spread around social media instead. Then post a link in the comments below and, just maybe, this article could become J-List’s answer to Tinder, or whatever the kids are using these days.
Fair warning: wearing one of these if you’re married, especially to someone who reads kanji, might be like trying to survive Dark Souls without thumbs.
Amusement Ecstasy Box
Come on, seven random onaholes, in one beautiful box. What’s not to like?
This is the otaku version of a surprise bag, and I’m sure you remember the joy of opening surprise bags. We call them ‘lucky packets’ on this side of the world; one of my buddies found a thumb inside his lucky packet, no jokes. It put him off hitch-hiking completely. As an aside, the fact that you can’t buy Kinder Joy with toys in them in the US is just plain inhumane, but let me not get more sidetracked than I already am.
We have a bunch of surprise boxes available for all sorts of things, and new ones pop up all the time, so it’s worth trawling the site to see what you find. I recommend keeping your eye out for the Fukubukuro Lucky Bags we put out around Christmas.
More Online Shopping Adventure than Your Wallet can Take
All of this is to say nothing about the books, manga, figures, and licensed merchandise we stock. I still discover new things in the store all the time, and our staff (the people who deserve actual promotions) work hard to make new and unique items available for you to express your love of Japanese and otaku culture.
Now, please go buy something, my promotion depends on it.
