Bacon-Pan from Japan

The Japanese are ahead of the U.S. in several key areas, including the availability of square watermelons and taxis with doors that open automatically for you. They have toilets that play music, in case you’re like Japanese women who get nervous at the thought of someone listening to you pee, then wash your butt for you when you’re done. They have vending machines that will sell you a hot can of coffee or even creamed corn soup, very nice to warm yourself with while waiting for the train on a cold train platform in winter, and you can purchase train tickets or food at convenience stores by tapping your cell phone to a computerized plate, no money required. Despite being a rice-eating nation, Japan has some pretty interesting bread, like melon-pan, round sweetened bread that looks sort of like a melon, curry-pan, delicious fried bread with spicy curry inside, and shima-pan, striped bread baked in the shape of…okay, I’m just kidding about that last one. The other day I went to my local bakery and saw the greatest achievement of bead in the history of mankind: butter bacon-pan, delicious butter rolls with bacon baked right inside. I wish I were eating some right now.

I think bacon-pan might be the best thing ever.