While I perused our incoming anime figures to figure out what to write about, the holiday cheer disappeared. In those preorders, I saw something that assured me I wouldn’t get anything from Santa Claus this year. In fact, one look at the upcoming 1/7 Hana Uzaki Cow Bikini Figure by WAVE causes such a surge of horny thoughts that I’m forever banned from jolly St. Nick’s good boy list. There are hentai figures that aren’t this in-your-face sexy. This is the kind of collectible that makes the company that made it rich.
WAVE’s 1/7 Hana Uzaki Cow Bikini Figure — No One Is Supposed To Look That Good
Growing up in a religious family and attending a Catholic school, they always told me that God loves everyone the same. That statement didn’t vibe with me back then and is a point of contention now. If there’s a God out there, he has favorites. Some people have gifts from the moment they are born. And Uzaki finds herself on the receiving end of divine blessing because this waifu is HOT! Put it this way: if Freya in DanMachi looked like Uzaki does in this cow bikini, Bell would have instantly folded into the Freya Familia.
Sometimes, a person looks good in a specific outfit. Other times, an outfit looks good on the person. This figure is a combination of both. Uzaki’s silver hair, porcelain skin, and rocking body are perfect for cow print bikinis. Why? Because, much like a cow, there’s a part of Uzaki that’s as vast as the sea is blue. Usually, people have to dish out tens of thousands of dollars to see peaks that majestic, but WAVE has your back; this figure is only $170. And that’s one of THREE big reasons why you should buy it. If her chest is one, and the price is the other, what’s the third, you ask? Spin the figure around!!!!
The Hana Uzaki Cow Bikini Figure — Horniness Cometh
There are a few things I wish would happen this coming year. I want Yuru Camp to air its fourth season and C-Station to animate it. I aspire to summit the five tallest peaks in northern Latin America. But most of all, I’d like Zuiko (this figure’s sculptor) and Namoji (this figure’s painter) to have a really, really, REALLY fabulous year. Because the 1/7 Hana Uzaki Cow Bikini Figure is a gift to humanity.
Since she dresses like a hobo, it’s easy to forget how stacked Hana is, but with this figure, you’ll always remember that fact. I can’t decide if Uzaki wears a micro-bikini or if her thickness makes a regular bikini look tiny. It could be the latter; that poor bikini looks like it’s one wrong move away from crossing into the great beyond. And that’s fitting since every time I look at those thigh highs, arm-length gloves, himopan with the little cow tail, and that “Hana” ear tag, I can feel that heart attack getting ready to turn me into a past tense. And that’s a risk you should happily take as well. It’s worth it.
The 1/7 Hana Uzaki Cow Bikini Figure is based on the second season and stands at 8.9” (22.5 cm). It comes with an alternate shy face place, but worry not, fellow weebs, both have a fang. Preorder this top-heavy figure here.
What is Uzaki-chan Wants to Hang Out! About?
People change, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Well, there might be. If you’re Hana Uzaki, change is a bad thing. After she enrolls in college and sees her once-active senpai living an emo life, his appearance perturbed her. So, she sets out to change the wretched loner by coaxing him into social situations. But as the pair grew close, instead of cultivating a social senpai, Uzaki-chan unknowingly raised a future boyfriend.
Uzaki-chan Wants To Hang Out! currently boasts two TV anime seasons. Studio ENGI animated both seasons. The Niconico Seiga’s Dra Dra Sharp website has serialized the manga, from illustrations and writing from Take, since December 2021. Fujimi Shobo prints the Uzaki-chan manga in Japan, which has twelve tankoubon volumes. Seven Seas Entertainment releases the manga in English. Both seasons of Uzaki-chan Wants To Hang Out! are available on Crunchyroll.
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