I love eating gyoza. It’s actually one of my all-time favorite foods. Therefore, I find myself annoyed they did not even consult with me before the famed Chinese restaurant in Osaka, Osaka Osho, decided to declare model Nana Suzuki as “The Best Gyozanist of 2021”.
Now, let’s break all that down for everyone reading this. First off, what is a gyozanist? A gyozanist is someone who has a deep love and passion for gyoza. We’re not talking about someone who just enjoys the dish occasionally, we’re talking about someone who will give you judging glares if you dare serve subpar gyoza because frankly there are few things greater than taking that first satisfying bite of perfectly fried and crispy gyoza.
Now, as many of us are aware, Japan loves to give out awards for just about everything (including, recently, an award for looking good in jeans) though it seems like it’s pretty hard for average working slobs like myself to get their foot in the door to be considered for things like this which is why it shouldn’t come as a surprise that the two people who were made to “compete” for the award were two beautiful models: the previously mentioned model Nana Suzuki and current Osaka Osho spokeswoman Karina.
As part of being named the first-ever gyozanist in the world, Suzuki received a year’s supply of frozen gyoza. There’s a woman who won’t be lacking for midnight snacks for a while.
For those of us who weren’t considered for the award this year, let’s all hope that the competition next year is a bit more open and fair. After all, I might not look as awesome as a professional model, but that doesn’t mean my taste buds are any less worthy of consuming that much gyoza! Come on Japan, give a poor working slob a break!