Goddess Café Terrace, Episode 5: Day Off Girl-Talk

Hayato worries about Riho working too hard for the café. Then he catches Akane singing with her band.

Episode 5 — “Day Off”

The Bathos Melodrama Meter!

Hayato’s time spent with two goddesses in Goddess Café Terrace gave us two scenes of melodrama. Riho has taken her self-proclaimed role of Nest Protector seriously. Too much so. Her situation set up the other characters to notice her overwork and for Hayato to confront her. Typical gender roles in Japanese romance dictate that a woman wishes her male partner to support her. When a man does something to relieve a woman of the considerable burden of her duties, she will start falling in love with him. The Japanese code word for this is finding a partner “reliable.” The needle on the Bathos Melodrama Meter jumped into positive territory when Riho wondered if she could “rely” on Hayato as she remembered her love fortune. Goddess Café Terrace buttered Riho’s toast too thickly with this inserted reference.

Hayato’s pat on Riho’s buttered bread was still fresh in my mind when he also promised to care for Akane until her music career paid off. That was supposed to raise a harem flag, but it flipped up an NTR flag instead. Hayato told one girl not to worry and promised to be the sugar daddy for an aspiring musical artist. Ahem. I’ll give Goddess Café Terrace the more charitable interpretation. Patron of the arts! Does that sound better? But can Hayato afford to financially support two women? Does he write checks he can’t cash? That doesn’t sound like the Hayato who constantly complains about money. Hayato ticks a notch on the Bathos Melodrama Meter when he doesn’t think with the correct head.

Protecting the Nest Points.

When I devised the harem point system with five categories in the first episode review of Goddess Café Terrace, I never expected the characters to openly claim their archetype. I expected each episode to show the girls living up to their typical characteristics and for one or two others to display character traits outside their type sometimes. Then Riho explicitly said she wanted to protect the café. She won all the Nest Protector points for this episode.

Grandma’s Little Girl Points.

I saw only one instance to award points for Grandma’s Little Girl: Shiragiku bakes Grandma’s cakes. Oh. There was one other time in this Goddess Café Terrace episode: Akane said Hayato’s coffee almost tastes like Grandma’s. Does that make Akane or Hayato Grandma’s Little Girl?

Baka Charm Points.

Ami all day, and Ami all night. Dosukoi! Akane showed some Baka Charm by asking about a ridiculous band name. I like what Goddess Café Terrace did with that running joke because we never learned what Akane’s band’s original name was. More points go to Hayato for suggesting “Mussy Mustache Girls.” But Ami stole some back from them both by donning her mustache glasses.

Hayato’s military jargon-themed chuunibyou will be a recurring feature and a font of Baka Charm points.

Drunk Girl Points.

Shiragiku scored points without drinking any alcohol. All through flashbacks. Ami aided by asking her about stinky smells in a funny recurring joke. Then she made her roommates remember how she’s drunkenly thrown herself at Hayato several times. The girl-talk scene was the only source of fanservice in the Goddess Café Terrace episode, and they were all recycled! Thank goodness the preview showed more in flagrante delicto coming up.

Cool Charm Points.

Akane’s vocal performance was the set piece of the episode. The official MBS YouTube channel posted her singing “passionate lyrics.”

Sony Music will release Akane’s song “My Standard” as a single. Unfortunately, all Akane’s Cool Charm points vanished when she displayed a bazillion cute, blushing, embarrassed facial expressions when she ran into Hayato after her concert.

Heh.

Busy! The Familia Café Terrace is hopping after the Cherry Blossom Festival and Riho’s social media engagement. And there she is, come to save the day! I see hints that Riho is putting in too many hours. Geez. Ouka is so quick to nag Hayato. Oh? Akane noticed Riho working too hard in the café. Yup. The Goddess Café Terrace social media influencer schedules posts in the dead of night. Using Windows 10 on her pink laptop. Ah. Riho tells part of her origins story. Grandma took her in and told her not to worry. Riho wants to “protect the café” as gratitude and duty. She had a falling out with her mother, and Riho dresses differently now. Hayato’s words echo what Grandma told her, so they hit Riho in the feelings. Watch out! Head pats! Right in the feels!

Welp. Chuunibyou Hayato is officially a thing in Goddess Café Terrace. Ah. It’s Akane’s turn for harem points. Akane won’t tell her roommates what her band’s name is called. Fishy business? Uh. Ami thinks that means tasty fried squid. We know what that squid smell reminds most people of. Efficient storytelling. A broken toaster oven means shopping in the city, which leads directly to Hayato giving up on a movie to watch Akane’s band perform in a dive bar. I didn’t say it was good storytelling. Just efficient. The dude needs to stop talking to himself out loud. Oh well. It’s the only way the girls will learn his true feelings. Akane rocks! Hayato smiles like a hentai protagonist without eyes.

Aw. Akane’s bandmates feel lonely, but she has promised to eat dinner with her family. Speak of one of those devils! Hahaha! All the blushing Akane faces in the world! I will never see Akane as calm and collected again in Goddess Café Terrace. Har. Ami has a battery saver mode. Follow the money! Akane’s music moved people’s hearts because it so clearly made Hayato buy a CD! Moon Goddess, eh? I see creative spellings of “Cafeteria” and “for Grandmother.” We have just seen Akane sing “My Standard.” I wonder if we’ll hear renditions of “Moon Goddess,” “You,” “Rano,” or “Ren.” I remember Akane talking about how nice sipping wine while watching a full moon would be. What the heck, Hayato? How did he get “mustaches” out of an all-girl rock band?

And it’s another day off for the girls of Goddess Café Terrace. Hayato isn’t here, so you know what that means. Girl-talk! No kotatsu for Ami because it’s almost May. Hey! What. Ami still wants to prove to Shiragiku how she acts when she’s drunk. Ami hasn’t yet figured out what kind of “stinky” Shiragiku likes. Ouka needs to stop this. Is this like a sitcom clip show after only six weeks? Ha! Ami has a running joke about Shiragiku’s stink kink! Welp. This scene did not pass the Bechdel test of female characters talking about a dude. Uh oh. Shiragiku doesn’t know that she’s the only girl to make a pass at Hayato. Yup. It’s a clip show for fanservice! I love it! Ami’s running joke with Shiragiku’s stink kink cracks me up. Akane brought up Mussy Mustache Girls! We still don’t know her band’s actual name. Hoh! Marriage is on the table to keep the café running and stay in the house! The goddesses are such terrible liars, except for Ami. She and Hayato will be Heroes of Justice together! Dosukoi!

Next time, Riho and Shiragiku compete for Hayato’s stomach. And we’ll have new fanservice scenes!

Goddess Café Terrace (Megami no Café Terrace, The Café Terrace and its Goddesses) streams on Crunchyroll.

Did you enjoy Akane’s rock and roll? J-List has the musical diva Hatsune Miku for fans of girls who rock the microphone. Pick up the Hatsune Miku Project DIVA MEGA 39’s rhythm game for the Nintendo Switch in the J-List store now.

Did you enjoy Akane’s rock concert? I loved the bazillion blushing faces she made afterward. But who’s the new waifu for Hayato? Do you want to see a husband-and-wife superhero team with Ami? Let us know in the comments below or online on Facebook, Twitter, or Discord.