Mmm… wrinkles. 2024 proved you can push a kink to 100 (years) and still come away a satisfied man. And who wouldn’t want a mature lady to teach him about love and life? Experience is a commodity, and these ladies have plenty to go around. Let’s compare long-lived ladies to find the Greatest Anime Granny of 2024!
Prune-Charged Turbo Granny from Dandadan
So, you like fast women? Dandadan gave us Turbo Granny, who was ready to munch on Okarun’s manhood in exchange for some mammary mastication. The gift of alliteration is a bonus.
I know you’re getting hot and ready as you count all those wrinkles and skewed teeth, but Turbo Granny comes in many forms. Do you prefer a wormy little ectoplasmic entity or a lucky cat? Turbo Granny can accommodate many tastes, and you should never assume an octogenarian isn’t flexible.
Still unconvinced? Turbo Granny got Okarun’s rocks off. Sure, in the literal sense, but her skills are undeniable.
Your Mama’s so Old, She Changed Frieren’s Diapers
Yes, nerds, I know Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End aired in 2023. But the ancient elf Frieren remained embedded in our consciousness all year like the pungent aroma belonging to prunes and foot powder.
Do fantasy taverns ask to see ID? Frieren doesn’t look a day over 250, which Dungeons & Dragons taught me would make her 21 in elf years. However, bro math tells me that Frieren is a millennial because, I mean, she’s over 1,000 years old. This is why you never ask a lady her age; you’ll end up confused and embarrassed. But don’t look to Frieren for her love advice. She’s only now getting a clue.
Omurasaki no Omae will Dominate and Destroy
Yatagarasu: The Raven Does Not Choose Its Master tops my 2024 list of sleeper anime. This fantastical period drama might not get many views, but that’s only because cultured fans haven’t yet discovered the raw sexual allure of Omurasaki no Omae (voiced by Atsuko Tanaka).
Omurasaki no Omae is the loving mom to the rightful heir to the throne, Natsuka. When Natsuka’s stepbrother, Wakamiya, overtakes him, she shows her cunning maternal instincts by playing the game of thrones like a cornered tigress. Any blood on her hand will only compliment her red lips.
If there was a Mother-in-law award of the year, Omurasaki no Omae would snatch it from your hand, stab you in the back with it, and leave you feeling she was a lovely lady who really should have whatever she wanted. Grannies are such sweeties.
Spirit Medium, Baseball Bat Hard. Momo Ayase’s Granny from Dandadan
Gyaru grannies exist! Retirement home, here we come. Seiko Ayase (voiced by Nana Mizuki) is a hard-core chain smoker with a strong batting arm. My prediction for 2025 and onwards is that we’ll see more harem stories with hot grannies like Seiko, and you can blame her if I’m right.
If you’re hanging around the J-List Blog, you must be a genius (because smart people read). Seiko has a soft spot for geniuses, and one plus one makes for hot, sweaty nights. Your chances of death by second-hand smoke have increased exponentially.
Adopt an Anime Granny This Christmas
Some say love is the oldest emotion. So then, learn from those who’ve been around the longest. Right?
Did we miss any elderly enchantresses? Who is your favorite anime granny? Tell us in the comments or on social media. Now I’m off to find Mrs. Claus. Corn rubs! Come, get some!
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