Have you ever woken up and thought, “I need more Black Lagoon in my life?” Or maybe you thought, “Instead of kawaii maids, can I have a yandere one?” Should “yes” be an answer to any of those, the Roberta Nightmare Maid 1/7 Figure by Medicos Entertainment is what you need in your life. And at $190 and a 6-month preorder wait (ships in August), it’s an affordable acquisition.
Medicos Entertainment’s Roberta Nightmare Maid Figure — Guns, Grenades, and Big Ol’ Tiddies
I’m aware that many people wonder how revolutionary/terrorist groups like FARC manage to lure people into their ranks. There’s a simple answer to that. It’s because of disenfranchisement, abusive societal policies, and the promise of girls with tits the size of howitzers. I’m not saying I’d fall for that. But if someone offered me the Roberta Nightmare Maid figure in exchange for me channeling my inner Che Guevara, I’d REDACTED.
This figure features the head Lovelace family maid in a provocatively revealing pose. And it eloquently embodies the destructive allure of the FARC terrorist it’s modeled after. Since Roberta aggressively perched on her machine gun/grenade launcher/suitcase (the figure’s included base), you get an enticing view of her gartered thighs. And trust me, my fellow weebs, that’s a spectacle. There’s a reason why the phrase “thick thighs save lives” exists. If an up-skirt Roberta was the last thing I saw before I took a bullet to the head, I’d thank Jesus for big booty Latinas when I walk into the Lord’s home.
Speaking of a bullet to the head, the Roberta Nightmare Maid figure proudly brandishes her Colt model 1927 and Franchi SPAS-12. Artist Icrae dedicated a lot of love to sculpting this figure. Not only are Roberta’s guns perfect replicas of the real thing, but the movement and folds of her skirt, hair, and twintails align perfectly with her pose. The extra pressure from her sideways posture causes her breasts to strain against her maid outfit as if trying to break free. The quality of Andou Kenji and Takashima’s color production perfectly complements Icrae’s sculpting work. From sheen to hues, this figure’s colors amaze.
The Insane Details of the Roberta Nightmare Maid Figure
It boggles my mind that a 1/7 figure (11.4″ — 29 cm) can have so much detail. One can forgive you for instantly concentrating on the Roberta Nightmare Maid figure guns, plump thighs, and fuafua chest. But the artistic detailing on this figure went far beyond that. How? The hidden grenades in her skirt! Like that Ukrainian dude pulling out grenades from his pocket, the Roberta Nightmare Maid figure hides explosives. While you don’t need a reason to look under her skirt, if you peek at the promised land, you’ll discover a line of hand grenades dangling beneath it—the same ones she unleashed with destructive force during the bar brawl in the anime.
Another much-appreciated detail is the foggable glasses included with the figure, which enhance her already devious expression. If you include everything, this is a proud collection centerpiece, so preorder yours today.
What’s Black Lagoon About?
Based on Rei Hiroe’s manga, Black Lagoon follows Rokurou “Rock” Okajima. An average salaryman, Rock’s life is torn apart when he’s kidnapped by pirates and abandoned by his company. Realizing that life never had much to offer, Rock takes a “When in Rome” approach to his newfound problem. He joins the pirate syndicate that kidnapped him. As he acclimates to Roanapur (Thailand) and joins the crime that festers there, his blue-collar days become a memory. Netflix and Crunchyroll stream seasons 1 and 2 of the TV anime.
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