Sweet Love and Death in Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex

There’s nothing like a sweet relationship. Two people, madly in love with each other, find any excuse to spend time together, touch, or tease. I’m there for it. What if you can’t risk diabetes with too much sweetness in your romance anime, though? Introduce death and miscommunications, of course. Let’s explore how Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex built its story on depression while being sweet.

Meet Cute and Die

Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex is an anime about the sweet romance between its lead, Marie Shaderan, and her husband-to-be, Kyros Granado. The wrench in the works is that Kyros was engaged to her older sister Anastasia, and Marie has so little self-esteem that she sees herself as a poor replacement.

How did they get into this situation? It’s a little silly. Kyros attended a party meant to display Anastasia to noble society and find her a husband. The invitation was for Marie’s birthday party, but that’s a facade. Later, Kyros stumbled across Marie in her family’s garden, and she stole his heart. See, Kyros has a foreign mother, and the noble ladies who are most eligible to marry him tend to have prejudice against his heritage and skin color. Only, he hasn’t met every bachelorette. Marie loves his mother’s homeland of Ipsandros and isn’t afraid to reveal her delight to Kyros when they meet. Her excitement, intelligence, and an open-hearted lack of prejudice win over Kyros.

So, after leaving the party, he writes a letter asking for Anastasia’s hand in marriage. Oops. This is why you ask questions. Kyros assumed that because it was Marie’s birthday party, Marie was the daughter shown off in the family manor, and the daughter who was slinking around outside must be Anastasia.

Lucky for Marie, her sister dies on the trip to Kyros’s castle.

Bittersweet Living

Like another anime I reviewed, My Happy Marriage, Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex is a story about a pretty girl who lives a Cinderella-style life until her Prince Charming comes along. Instead of a totally abusive family, Marie’s sister always loved her, and Marie loved Anastasia. While Marie’s father forced her to do his accounts, clean the house, and cook every meal, she also had happy memories of playing with her sister. This makes Anastasia’s death especially hard on her. The only sweet note in her bitter life disappeared, and then her father made everything worse.

The plot kicks off when Marie’s dad decides to whore her out to Kyros. Pretty dark for the diabetes sweet romance anime, huh? Marie’s dad can’t return the betrothal gifts Kyros sent for Anastasia’s hand in marriage, so he decides to take Marie to Kyros’s home, have Marie act sad and empathetic about how Kyros’s betrothed is dead, and sleep with him. He figures Kyros will feel guilty for sleeping with his daughter and let them keep the betrothal gifts.

Sweet Wife, Sweet Life

Since Kyros wanted Marie in the first place, he didn’t abuse her. Kyros negotiates to keep Marie, and within the day, proposes to her. Since Marie has heard she’s ugly and useless most of her life, she can’t accept it. She can’t believe Kyros loves her and wanted to marry her in the first place. She accepts betrothal, but believes she’s a convenient partner for Kyros, not that she’s loved.

Kyros, by contrast, is ecstatic to have Marie as his wife-to-be, and he can’t stop being cutesy and happy about it, even as he realizes Marie’s so damaged. His issue is that he can’t reach her easily. Showering Marie in gifts and bringing her maids from the royal capital can’t solve his problems. In fact, many of his attempts to get Marie to recognize the truth of his love fail.

Courtship and Healing

I’ll admit, I was worried about this plot. Poorly written romances build themselves on silly misunderstandings. If you heard about this anime’s premise, rolled your eyes, and moved on, I understand. I almost didn’t watch it for this preview. However, the more I watched, the clearer it was that the real conflict isn’t a misunderstanding — that’s at most a catchy way of getting the ball rolling. The real conflict is between Marie’s lack of self-esteem and her pathway to healing.

Marie is resistant to trusting Kyros when he says he loves her, not because she doesn’t want a nice life, or even because she doesn’t feel she deserves his love, but because people can hurt you. The gifts he gives are nice, but don’t build trust, because people can take away anything they give you. So far, what has helped Marie most is when the cast treats her with care; that means that learning who she is intrigues us as viewers, but it is also the goal of her new family. Being kind and proving virtue are how Kyros will win Marie over, not words and material goods. In this way, Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex is a sincere exploration of what abuse victims need to feel secure in love and their lives.

Men Can Hurt Too

There’s hurt on Kyros’s side, too. He loves sweets — like cookies and cakes — but also has an aversion to them because his father’s wife, his stepmom, killed herself with poisoned cookies. His stepmom also showed him that noble marriages can be unloving. With the focus on Marie so far, I don’t know how Kyros will heal yet. The one thing I hope doesn’t happen is that Marie’s sweet nature automatically soothes all his damage. Women fixing men by merely giving them attention and care is stale and shallow. If Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex treats Kyros’s arc as respectfully as it has handled Marie so far, though, I’m not worried.

Betrothed to a Sugar Cookie

Thank you for checking out the start of Betrothed to My Sister’s Ex with me. What will Kyros and Marie be like by the time they get married? You’ll have to watch the show to find out.

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