Being male, I am naturally perplexed by the opposite sex, but living in Japan increases my confusion even more since I have to try to figure out Japanese females. I’ve known many Japanese women over the years, teaching them and dating them and being married to one of them (not at the same time), and while each is unique and different, there are some patterns I’ve noticed. First, Japanese women always have feet of 23.5 cm in length, though why this would be a universal standard I have no idea. As a rule, Japanese females are quite aware of the social phenomenon known as hito no me (hito no meh), literally meaning “the eyes of others,” the awareness that they’re being seen and evaluated by everyone around them, which causes them to conform to certain external norms more than Westerners might. Cleanliness is very important in Japan, and woe to any American husband who fails to realize that freshly laundered socks are still too “dirty” to be placed on a dining table for any reason, or that stepping on clean laundry with clean feet transforms it into dirty laundry. Sadly, Japanese women all seem to have a chronic problem with constipation, no doubt from eating a large serving of white rice three times a day, and the marketplace is filled with special teas and Chinese herbs to help keep things flowing. Finally: for some reason I’ve known several Japanese women who had an odd hobby: they loved to pluck hairs from my body, pulling out facial hairs or arm hairs by the roots for fun. Is that odd? If you’ve known any Japanese females, got any stories of confusion to share?
The always-enigmatic Japanese female. So soft and warm to cuddle with.
