Like many Japanese families, my wife’s parents live with us in one big house, occupying the lower floor while we live upstairs. The idea of a child growing up and “leaving the nest” when they finish school doesn’t always work the same here as it does in the U.S., and it’s common for the oldest son or daughter to stay at home permanently, essentially taking responsibility for the family home (and business, if there is one) as well as taking care of the parents as they get older. This custom affects the dynamics of families somewhat, since a son or daughter who will live at home must find a spouse who doesn’t mind joining that family. My wife happens to be an only child, which has actually been a bit of a chain around her neck all her life, making it impossible to pursue certain dreams as they would carry her away from her parents. Still, I don’t mind it at all, and like having a proper Japanese family to be a part of. Yesterday was my father-in-law’s 73rd birthday, we all went out for delicious Korean BBQ.
Remember me to write about my theory that love hotels keep families together, since young adults can actually go somewhere to be with their boyfriends/girlfriends without having to move out and live with them, like most people (?) do in the U.S. Therefore love hotels can be said to keep Japanese families together.
Having more family members means having more birthdays, which means more Korean BBQ!